I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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