Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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