She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize