I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
