You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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