Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
