My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
