Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
