I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize