I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
