i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
