the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
