porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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