he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
