And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cockslap morals
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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