I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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