The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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