that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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