I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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