i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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