i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize