is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
