her vagine was all disorganized.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
