Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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