Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ttyl tear gas
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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