you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize