Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
