sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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