Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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