No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
