yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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