do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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