she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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