People in love make me want to vomit
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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