I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
