The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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