After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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