Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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