who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
