on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
