p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
