RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
