So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
