what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
