I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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