My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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