they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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