Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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