You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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