How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
