I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
