dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
