1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
