I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
