If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
