Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
