What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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