You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize